Sunday, February 22, 2015

kindergarten teacher olympics.

Clearly, teachers should get to have an Olympic Games.
It wouldn't have the traditional sports though.
Now, I love me some swimming, gymnastics, bobsledding, etc.
But I can't do any of that.
I CAN however, easily compete in every competition that would be in the Kindergarten Teacher Olympics.
Event #1: Holding It.
I think I've mentioned before that I often get ONE restroom break during the day...IF I'm lucky.
But the majority of my kids go at least 3 times a day...most of them more.
And they STILL pee their pants.
I however, never get to pee.
And I'll just put it out there that I drink a TON of water during the school day.
Enough said.
Event #2: Using Your Teacher Voice.
PS. For this event, I would definitely need this sweatshirt.

Anyway.
In a classroom full of 20 five year olds, it can often be hard to be heard.
And it can often be difficult to keep control of your herd.
Enter, Teacher Voice.
It's loud. It's firm. It gets the job done.
I use it a lot.
Sometimes even on my dog. Or my husband.
And depending on the circumstances of the day, I think I might be able to take gold in this event.
(The Teacher Voice is NOT yelling, however. I don't like to yell at them.)
Event #3: Power Copying.

I have 20 students.
When we take a test, that's 20 copies.
When we have a homework packet each week, there are typically 7 pages in it.
Times my 20 students.
Plus every worksheet or activity that we do throughout the day.
I'd hate to know how much paper I use a week.
Or how many trees I've used in my career thus far.
But I'm a champ at Power Copying.
This means staying late and pumping out copy after copy, trying to get things prepared for your week.
That is, if the copy machine actually works...which in our case, it usually doesn't.
Event 4: Multitasking During Individual Assessments.
This would be my prime event.
Again, I have 20 students.
In Kindergarten, we constantly assess each student over multiple tasks.
For example: counting.
At least once a week, I assess each of my students on counting.
Now, maybe it's just me.
But I can only listen to a kid count to 100 so many times before I go crazy.
So to keep my sanity, I multitask.
While one of my lovlies is counting to me, I grade papers.
I monitor other students' behavior.
I check email.
It's amazing what you can do while you listen to someone count.
Because it's so ingrained in your brain, that you instantly catch it if they mess up.
Event 5: Lysol Consumption
In case you did't know, kids are gross!
They carry so many germs.
So far this year my kids have passed around the stomach flu, multiple colds, strep throat, pink eye, and boogers.
Sick.
Even though it's much easier to teach when multiple kids are absent, I don't like it when my kids miss.
So I do what I can to prevent absenses.
Hence the Lysol Consumption Competition.
I bet I could Lysol other Kindergarten teachers out of the building.
I go through those Lysol spray cans like they're going out of style.
I have tons of the wipes too.
Event 6: Shoe Tying, Buttoning, Zipping, Belt Buckling.
The most exciting competition in the games by far.
If Kindergarten teachers were to go down the whole line of their students, being timed on how long it took to tie both of their shoes, button and zip up their pants, and buckle their belts, there would be some fierce competition.
We certainly get enough practice time in each day.
(Although I will admit, I usually stop tying shoes in October. "Go find a friend who can help.")
The winter games would include putting on gloves, zipping up coats, tying scarves, and putting on boots. In the winter, we start getting ready to go almost 15 minutes earlier than the rest of the year.
So those would be the six main events in the Kindergarten Teacher Olympics.
I think I could medal in most of them.
xoxo, wife.
PS: If anyone would like to know where to buy the Teacher Voice Sweatshirt, you can find it here.

1 comment:

  1. I think you would get the gold in all of those events. Delightful blog.

    ReplyDelete