we can't be friends if...

-You dislike the beach.
-You can't put up with countless stories about my students.
-You get tanner than me in the summer.
-You can't get along with my pets.
-You think all I do all day is color and play with little kids.
-You wear scrunchies.
-You have never heard of Pinterest.
-You think my husband is cute.
-Your hair is always perfectly curled...never one hair out of place.
-You iron.
-You think the Zombie Apocalypse is a real thing and you're actively preparing for it.
-You constantly defend people I don't like.
-You breastfeed your child past an acceptable age. If they can hold a conversation with you, they're TOO OLD.
-You don't use your turn signal.
-You love talking on the phone...because we won't get along real well.
-You watch that show with the Duggar Family.
-Or you watch the polygamist show.
-You have size 11 feet. That's just strange.
-You text while driving.
-You don't think my niece and nephew are adorable.
- You think teachers are paid adequately.
-You allow your child to watch R-rated movies, refuse to give them a proper bedtime, fail to help them with homework, or neglect to teach them any behavior expectations.

So...would we be friends? :)

xoxo, wife.