when are you...

A question I've been hearing lately as Bryson is getting a bit older is: when are you moving him into his own room?

My go-to response is usually, "When he can put his own pacifier into his mouth!" Because yes, he sleeps through the night like a champ...but I do have to put his pacifier in several times...especially as it nears morning. The thought of getting out of bed and going across the hall to pop that in his mouth, only to have to do it again as soon as it falls out sounds ridiculous. So we're not there yet. He's still in his bassinet, pulled right up next to my side of the bed.

But if I'm being honest with myself, even if he could consistently put it back in, I'm not ready yet. And you know what? That's completely fine.

As an anxious person in general, it calms me to wake up in the middle of the night and peek over, seeing his chest gently rising and falling as he sleeps peacefully.

I love praying over him every night before I go to sleep, before kissing his sweet head and crawling into my bed, right next to him.

I love hearing his little sighs as he adjusts into a new comfortable position in the night.

I love to listen to him babble as he starts to wake up in the morning. It's different than listening to him on the monitor.

I love to sit up in bed and see him watching for me. And grinning widely when we make that first eye contact for the day.

Remember, he and I were one unit for 9 LONG months. Always together. 24 hours a day for 37 weeks. Now that he's here, I have to share him. And while I absolutely love doing that, I'm still with him 98% of the time. I prefer it that way.

There will come a time (sooner, rather than later) when he doesn't need me to put his pacifier back in his mouth for him. There will come a time when he doesn't fit in this bassinet anymore. There will come a time when he won't be happy to see me in the morning, because I'll be waking him up early for daycare or school. There will come a time when I can watch tv in bed before falling asleep again. There will come a day when I have to share him with that beautiful nursery I spent countless hours scouring Pinterest for and we spent months preparing for. But for right now, he's going to continue to sleep next to me, because it brings both of us comfort and joy in those late night and early morning moments. It's what works for us, and we're the only ones it's really affecting anyway.

So from now on when someone asks me, "When are you moving him to his own room?" I won't go to that knee-jerk response anymore. I don't have to make excuses for myself. I don't have to pretend to be stronger than I am. I'm just going to say, "We're not ready yet, but it will happen soon enough."

xoxo, wife (& mommy)

early morning

Today we got up early.

I started to hear Bryson "talking" to himself in his bassinet around 4:30 this morning. I groaned as I rolled over and popped his pacifier back in, hoping that he'd fall back asleep and we could have a couple more precious hours. That was clearly not his plan, as he promptly spit that paci out and continued making noise. I let him babble for awhile, preparing myself for another early morning (yesterday he got up around the same time.) I grumbled a bit to myself that I should have gone to bed earlier, and that I wasn't in the mood to get up yet.

Then as he started to actually get fussy, I popped my head up over the bassinet so he could see me. Even in the darkness, with only the night light on his sound machine to illuminate my face, he smiled at me. He was so happy to see me. Suddenly, I wasn't quite so grumpy anymore.

Normally, the first thing I do is get him up, take him into his room and change him, then get a bottle. Not this morning. We took it slow. I unswaddled him, and laid him in bed with us. By this time, Ty's alarm was going off, and we all snuggled in bed for a bit before getting up to start our morning.

No, I don't enjoy being up that early. But the fact that Ty got to enjoy some snuggles and kisses made it worth it. It didn't hurt that he was also around to prepare Bryson's bottle and bring me some breakfast while I fed the baby!

After he left for work, and the bottle was empty...we had some extra time. We didn't need to get into our normal morning routine because it was still SO early. We "chatted" with each other about what we wanted to do today. We got some extra snuggles. We MAY have even dozed off for a few minutes in the chair. It was an early morning...but it was a slow morning.

Yeah, we got up two hours earlier than normal. But that just means I got two extra hours today to hold, love, and kiss my baby today. I should count myself lucky.

xoxo, wife (& mommy)

Weekly Recap 4

Monday: Monday was MLK Day so Ty had the day off! We spent the extra day just hanging out around the house, enjoying having him home with us. Ty's parents came over to babysit and we had a date night. We went to Olive Garden, Ulta, and the bookstore. While we were gone, Bryson got to Face Time with his cousins and his favorite aunt! Then we came home to put our little peanut to bed.

Tuesday: After a 4 day weekend with Ty home, it was time to get back into our routine! We headed out to Target (where else?!) so that I could replenish some things we needed around the house and get some steps in. We were stopped by a few Target employees who commented on how large his cheeks are! He was a bit fussy at first, but once he had his bottle, he was a happy camper. He was actually in a great mood the majority of the day! We got home, had some Tummy Time/regular play time, then it was time for another bottle and nap time. Ty brought home a toy for Bryson and a Starbucks drink for me, we played, then bed time for baby, and "This is Us" for mom and dad. All in all, Tuesday was good to us. 

Wednesday: Bryson was very chatty and had lots of drool today! Mimi came over to visit after a mid-morning cat nap. She stayed and we played until his afternoon nap time. Ty has volleyball on Wednesdays, so it was just us in the evening. We had lots of play time, then a bath, book, and bed!

Thursday: Bryson woke up in a great mood today! Lots of chattering and giggles. We headed back to Target to get out of the house for awhile. On the way home, we drove by the scene of an accident that had happened right before Christmas. A mother and her 3 children had ended up in a pond, and two of her children died. The baby is about the same age as Bryson and survived. The last update I heard was that the mother is no longer in a coma, and is beginning to recognize family members who are coming to visit, but still has a long road ahead of her. Their family has been heavy on my heart since I heard about it, so I decided to pull over and pray for them. I don't think I've ever done something like that before, but I just felt compelled. I think about the poor father, who had lost two of his children and has a wife in critical condition...all while taking care of an infant. I think about the mother, who needs so much healing...and if she happens to recover completely, will learn the awful news that two of her babies have been taken from her. I can't imagine what they're going through. 

We had some playtime and snuggles when we got home, and then it was time for Bryson's nap. My parents came over this evening for pizza and B-Time! They stayed until it was time for bed.

Friday: Ty's day off! We spent the morning lounging around, and then Bryson and I went to the grocery store. (Grocery stop #1 for the day.) The weather was nasty, so we headed home after that to play. Ty spent the day hauling branches out of our yard from a tree we had cut down. He stopped by the lot on his way home and saw that our yard had been graded.

 Bryson took a long nap today, which was good, because my parents called to see if we wanted to go to Costco this evening (Grocery stop #2 for the day.) I wore Bryson in the carrier and he loved looking around at everything...so much to see there! Then it was home for a little play time and then bed!

Saturday: Today was a day of absolutely nothing. I typically feel like a total bum if I don't get out of the house during the day, but it was wet and snowy, so we stayed in. Lots of play, snuggles, and tv. 

Sunday: My little booger woke up EARLY today! I believe we got out of bed around 4:50am...yikes! We went to church, and then Ty had basketball during nap time. I spent my alone time watching coverage of Kobe Bryant's accident. Ty came home and told me about the death of a childhood friend as well. It's so sad to hear of these dads who are leaving behind grieving wives and children. It's such a good reminder for the rest of us that tomorrow is never guaranteed and that we need to make sure we cherish our loved ones. 

PS. Bryson snuggled with me for about 20 minutes after his post-nap bottle this afternoon, which hasn't been happening as often anymore, because he likes to be up and around. I loved it!

Until next week!

xoxo, wife (& mommy)

2020 Week 3

Started the week with a quick visit to see Mimi on Monday.

Well, that certainly doesn't look comfortable.

Bryson's definitely starting to take an interest in toys. Especially toys that he can hold onto easily.

Also, as you notice...we're still doing LOTS of Tummy Time. 

We love when Daddy has Fridays off to spend extra time with us!

Naked play time at night right before bed is still his favorite!

We took a family trip to the grocery store where Bryson received quite a few compliments about how cute he and/or his little hat was. I also saw a few students from school...one of who yelled at me from across the parking lot haha!

Sweet baby wanted to read my book, but I told him it didn't seem appropriate for his age. 

We were looking outside at the snow and this is the face he made haha!

We went to MOPS on Thursday, and then I had Girls Night with my friends that night. My mom came over to watch him until Ty got home from work. 

Another awesome week filled with memories. 

Until next time!

xoxo, wife (& mommy)