pure

Something happens to my heart when Bryson smiles at me. I don't know exactly what it is, but I do know that it's good. I know it's good because I can see how he feels when he's smiling at me. At just 4 months old, I doubt it's love...but there are definitely feelings there. And they're pure. It's the purest thing I've ever experienced.

He smiles and giggles at me first thing in the morning when I get him out of his bassinet. I have no makeup on, my hair is a complete mess, and my eyes are still swollen from sleep. He doesn't care. He smiles anyway.

While carrying him the 20 feet from our room to his room to unswaddle and change him, he gets about 47 kisses. I still have morning breath, but he doesn't care. He smiles anyway.

I've mentioned before that he hates Tummy Time. I've been working hard on making him do it more often so he grows stronger, and there are times when he will scream and cry while he's laying there. But when I pick him up and reassure him that we're "all done, baby...all done," he smiles...even though I've forced him to do the one thing he hates more than anything.

He smiles at my awful singing voice. And my horrible dance moves. He doesn't care that from his angle, he's always staring up at my double chin. He looks past the dark circles under my eyes, and any pimples that may pop up. He doesn't judge my crooked teeth, or what size pants I wear. He just smiles. And it's pure...and it's innocent. And there's nothing there but happiness, and what I hope will turn into love as he grows and learns what love is.

Something happens to my heart when Bryson smiles at me. And it's so, so good.

xoxo, wife.